Annalise is having a hard time transitioning to kindergarten. I knew this would happen, I expected it, it's normal. Every morning for a week now she throws a crying, screaming, kicking tantrum about how her jeans look, or her socks or shoes don't feel good. I get annoyed, irritated by how her behavior might make us late and sometimes throw a fit of my own. Today was bad. I finally put her in her room and told her to let me know when she was ready. I went out into the living room to try to calm down because I couldn't handle it anymore.
She loves kindergarten. She is thrilled and proud of herself for recognizing words already. She talks to me about how she rides her horses (pretend, of course) with her friends during recess. They named their horses after their teachers' names.
I think her difficulty comes from being away from me. She wants me to coddle her in the morning and is beginning to stall bedtime at night.
This morning, AKA "another morning from hell" was a monumental tantrum. I was to breaking point. I drove her to the bus that she barely made and we quickly made apologies and hugged. I reminded her of our date this afternoon (she gets out of school early today and Maddie is going to be babysat) and told her I was picking her up from school. She was sad. It broke my heart. She didn't want to get on the bus. I carried her to the bus and she got on and sat down. She waved to me from the window, red faced and tear stained. It was pitiful.
As the bus drove away, I got Madeline into her seat and made a split decision to follow the bus until it stopped and when it did, I got out of my car and after the other children got on the bus I pulled Annalise off. I just couldn't leave our morning like that. I already feel like I'm somehow abandoning her by sending her to strangers all day. (By the way, the "strangers" she is with are fabulous. I've met with them and trust them...but it still feels weird to have her gone all day.) But to send her, on the bus, sad like that...I couldn't bare it. I didn't want her to bare it.
So I took them to McDonald's, and we sat in the car together for a while in front of the school. Then I dropped her off on the playground, a happier and more content child. So a horrible morning that ended fine. I just wish these morning struggles would cease. I talked to Anna for a while about it, asking her if she could think of any things that she could do, or that I could do to make the mornings easier.
I think she is going to have to pick out her outfits the night before and get dressed before she comes out of her room. This way if she does have a struggle, it isn't five minutes before we need to leave.
Has any other parent out there had this same problem and found solutions? How about anger management for parents?! I wouldn't be opposed to a book or class on that. Any suggestions?
3 comments:
Sigh, I'm sorry. We have our own morning challenges that persisted throughout the entire year last year. I've done a few things to help alleviate a couple of the problems.
1. Pick out clothes the night before.
2. Get dressed first, no breakfast until you are dressed.
3. I cuddle with both of the girls in a chair in their room for a couple of minutes each morning(no more than 3 minutes). It helps to get them out of bed and reminds me/them that I really do love them.
It will get better with time. Sort of. :)
Thanks, Jen. I was hoping you would read this, empathize, and then give suggestions. I figured with you and yours, perhaps you had the same issues. I talked with Annalise again this afternoon about how she is going to pick out her clothes the night before. I know there will still be issues with her clothes...on most days, too, probably! Hopefully it will decrease it a little.
Now...anger management help?
By the way, in our tantrums this morning, I put Annalise into her room. She called this pushing. I apologized to her before she got on the bus if I had hurt her. She forgave me. But guess what? I picked her up this afternoon for our date and she mentioned to me that she told her friends how I pushed her! Agh! She didn't think it was a big deal...CPS calling me yet? No... I asked her (in the most uncreepy non-abusive parent way possible!) to not tell people that I push her. Time will tell, huh?
When I was little and I thought my mom was being cruel (by sending me to my room or slapping on my bum and thigh, heaven forbid) I would tell her that I was going to call CPS. She would calmly reply that they would take her away and I would never see her again. Stopped me right there. My dramatic, five year old resolved there that I was just going to have to live a life of a damsel in distress... ;)
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. It is so hard for me personaly to find that balance between love and discipline, and when to pull out a little extra patience, or open up a can of you know what. And the guilt! oh, the guilt when you know you could have handled the situation better, am I wrong?! I always think I am scarring them for life, until my therapist brother reminds me they will be scarred for life no matter how good of a job you do. Ha ha, kidding he doesn't say that.
I think every kid is different, every parent is different and the beauty in that is that you will find by trial, error, and inspiration what will work best for your children individually. You are a good mom, you will figure it out. I couldn't spare any advice on this one, we don't have morning tantrums, just our own share of later-in-the day problems. Good luck! She will make it, and so will you! Go mom!
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