So the title of this and picture shown should shew the boys away. I know that their thoughts would be biased on their feelings that breasts are sexual and only sexual. And some, like my brother Adam, is offended (embarrassed) when his wife and I start talking about breastfeeding around him. So, boys, feel free to leave the blog for a few days. I'll post something non-breast next, I promise...As a mother who knows that one (of the most important) function of the breast is to feed a baby, I write this. And want to know your thoughts, ladies.
So I was reading a blog of a perfect stranger, whom I have grown to care deeply about her and her sister and their family...and this thought and experience was brought to the front of my mind.
When Madeline was a baby, and solely nursing from the breast (I tried getting her to take my breast milk in a pumped and poured into a bottle state, but she wouldn't have it) I had my sister-in-law (the very one I mentioned above) watch Maddie. I was running late and Madeline was hungry and upset. When I got there, Lindsay mentioned she was almost about to nurse Madeline herself, if I didn't arrive in the next twenty minutes. Now my story may be turned around--perhaps it was I who was watching Noah (six months older than Madeline), and Lindsay was running late, and I was about to nurse him...I can't remember. I'm thinking it was Maddie at Lindsay's because Noah, when Maddie was born, was most likely on solids. ...I'm rambling, sorry.
Lindsay and I never breast fed each other's babes, but we talked about it after that. When a baby is crying, and the mom cannot be there, and only will take breast milk, and you could deliver...what would you do? I would nurse the baby if I knew the mom would be cool and knew there was nothing else to give the babe (formula and bottle, etc..)
This woman, in her blog, mentioned that her sisters and she have done that before, that they are "tight like that" and it brought this back to me.
So...what would you do? IF you knew the mom would appreciate it, to give comfort and nourishment to the babe, and you have her permission or she's been in some freak accident which makes this baby's next meal be a while...what would you do?
Flip it: if you were in an accident and wouldn't make it to your baby for another three hours or longer, and your baby needed milk, and your sister was willing, would you want her to?
Maybe the baby would take formula? If not? What if you aren't in an area that supplied formula? Let's go dramatic: in the mountains or something...
Never having actually done this, I don't know if it would be weird. I think that I would say: desperate times, desperate measures. I've heard before I had babies of women doing this and I thought it was sick. Then I nursed my babies. And then the situation I wrote above happened. I think my husband and brother would have taken issues...but as a woman who supplied milk to my baby, I see it differently. It's food. Wonderful food.
My personal feelings on breastfeeding in general (just so you know):
I don't think of myself as a super-natural hippie lady, but breastfeeding is such a great gift, isn't it? Formula is fine, too--Annalise was fed on soy formula after six weeks of trying to get the nursing thing down failed. She thrived terrifically on it. She's healthy and bright and happy. It was also a great thing because I was finishing my degree and didn't have to be tied to her feeding schedule. Both are good choices when given to your child with thought and love. I just didn't want you to think of me as a boob-nazi, because I'm not...
So what do you think of the wet nurse situation?
12 comments:
Hmm mmm; good blog - lots to think about. I am like you and I am no hippie but I am a proud supporter and a breast feeder for the first 12 months of life. So the subject has perplexed me. What would I do???
I think I am a fraidie cat and wouldn't nurse the baby because I would be affraid the babies Mom would hate me for it. Even if she told me she wouldn't mind. But if I was nursing myself and the baby was screaming uncontrollably I would end up doing it. Especially because I know from 1st hand experience a baby's cry can make you do things you never that you would do. And I don't like seeing things suffer especially an innocent helpless child.
If it were me I am not sure. I can't really relate because I unfortunately had to work right after both my boys were born and I pumped on my breaks. (Whole other story which could be another good blogging topic for you) I wasn't able to quit working until Lincoln was 5 months old. So both my babies took a bottle and the breast. I think I would have to say I wouldn't like it to know my poor kid was on someone else's breast. Just seems icky to me. But if my baby was only on the breast I wouldn't blame the Mom for doing it and would probably thank her for loving my child enough to relieve some discomfort. Wow my brain is blazing now. Thanks for the food for thought. I wish I blogged important stuff like you. I am not brave enough - that whole fraidie cat thing again.
PS - I forgot to say thanks for the good read!
Apollo wouldn't take a a bottle AT ALL. I tried pumping, tried all different kinds of bottles to NO AVAIL. What I would have given for a wet nurse. For the first 9 months of his life I never left him for more than three hours. It was really hard, mentally, to feel like I couldn't ever have a break, or if I did, my baby would starve.
Also, weren't wet nurses a regular part of life for centuries? Plus, I think it's funny that as a society we feel comfortable drinking milk from a cow, but some people think it's "weird" when we talk about breast milk. That being said, if someone wanted to nurse my baby while I was away, then have at it- it would save me the hassle of pumping and he would probably like it better. On the flip side, I would only do it for a different person's baby if I knew the mother was completely comfortable with it. I wish that I had a sister or good friend around the beginning of Apollo's life who was nursing too, so we could have babysat for each other and known that our babies wouldn't starve. I guess I can see how people might think it is "strange," but after having nursed for the last year and a half, I see breast feeding in a totally new light than I did before.
I've never been in a story on someone elses blog! I feel...honored?? But, yes, Adam will hate your post...I have warned him to stay away for a little while! We'll see if he comments, however. Yes, it was me who was going to nurse Maddie! There wasn't anything else to do! Noah was fine, he would take bottles. Macie on the other hand would not. I have thought about having someone else nurse my baby. We never really left Macie with anyone, anyway. But, I don't think I would be mad if someone nursed my baby. If it's what seemed best, I can't argue with it. And I would do the same. Sure, the parent might be mad and offended. But if that baby was crying nonstop with no avail, and since I'm not the parent who knows how to calm the baby down, I'd just do it. I have plenty of milk to go around...might as well share some of it. Macie is a prime example as to why I SHOULD share some of the milk!! So...if anything were to happen to me, and you had the goods...just nurse my babies. I won't be mad!
Rory, because you have the picture of a baby breastfeeding that heads my post, and it's on your blog--people from your site keep coming over to this--that's funny. It is a very sweet picture of a baby nursing.
Yes, Lindsay, you are a star! And a wonderful nurturer, mother and friend. Thank you for being you.
So Geoff just saw the picture I posted for my blog, and turned away in repulsion. "Gosh Kimberlee!! What's the matter with you?"
K: It's just a picture of a baby nursing; it's sweet.
G: It's more than just a baby nursing! You can't take things in isolation.
Like I said...boys should probably stay away from this post...
Wet nurses have been around for thousands of years. This is nothing new. It's only weird in this generation. With that said, I wouldn't nurse another baby unless I had permission from the mother, of course. Only because the mother's choice is the that is important, not the babysitter.
I agree on the importance of the mother. It would be horrible if you picked up your baby and the lactating mother casually said, "yeah, you don't have to feed her for a few hours...I just did." That said, I would feel so grateful if there was a drastic problem and the woman took care of my baby when i couldn't. Though I think I'd prefer her try formula first...
Well, I am not sure what I would do. I dont think I would be cool with either as a rule, but in dire circumstances where formula and my milk was a no go (like, could not happen) I would hope that someone would keep my baby from starving. I think I would have issues with someone doing it without permission. I think my blood sister would be okay if there were a true emergency though. I would want to be asked though. I think the breast is best though!!! My mom is a "nipple nazi" Lactation consultant so I was raised thinking that way.
Okay, being a nursing nazi myself I had to comment on your blog. I have been on both sides of the situation. When Kayla was a newborn, she had a horrible time with nursing. She couldn't latch, had a hard time with a bottle, you name it! So finally, when I'd been up ALL NIGHT with a screaming, starving baby, my older sister offered to give her some milk since she was nursing her little girl at the time. So I let her. Kayla immediately stopped crying and finally had a full tummy! So I admit it was a little strange at first, but when your tiny baby is hungry and someone has the means to feed them, why withhold that from them??
On the flip side, when my twin sister's little boy was crying for his mama and I had the goods, I wasn't sure if I should nurse him or not. Luckily my sis got home right after that so I didn't have to worry. But I wouldn't have felt bad if I had to nurse him without asking her. She is my sister after all! So without it being kin, I would only nurse another child in extreme emergency situations. But I may try that before formula. Who knows what kids are allergic to in formula. If they need to be on soy milk, the regular formula could make a VERY long night!! Anyway, just rambling.....
ok so the funniest part of that blog post is what you wrote about Geoff's response...made me laugh I could just picture it. Don't know how I would feel about someone else nursing my babies...I do know however that I was nursed by my mom's primary secretary...she was watching me while my mom was doing sharing time and I was hungry and my mom and I both have skim milk and she said that the lady had pure cream and filled me so full I wouldn't nurse for hours and my mom was in serious pain!
I do know however that when morgan was 3 mos. Micah and I went to the temple and had some friends watch him and she had just had a baby and I guess Morgan wasn't satisfied by the bottle I left and started crying for the last hour and she told me she was about to nurse him and since it was my first baby I was soooo insulted. I did NOT want anyone else's boob near my baby.
although now, I might be ok with it...depends on who it was I guess. Would have to play it by ear. Caause that's the way I roll these days.
When I was little, I think I remember my mom nursing another baby she was babysitting ... not as a normal every day thing, but for a special circumstance.
With that said, if I had the mother's permission and the child was not a formula or bottle kind of kid, I think I would be OK with it, but probably only if the baby was 6 months or younger. Once they get older, solid food should work. I think I would be fine with the flip side as well, someone feeding my little one. Of course, getting permission first would be appreciated.
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