Purse Purgatory

(I posted twice yesterday, so be sure to scroll down if you want to know what my greatest dream is...)

Every once in a while I find myself searching five minutes to find my keys, or my phone, or my checkbook in the swamp I call my purse. It doesn't matter how small or large the purse is: it fills up with random and not-so-random stuff so very quickly.

Then some morning comes along, and in a desperate attempt to find my keys or phone, I do this:

It breaks Geoff's heart. At least, it looks like it does by the face he makes...and the groan. I realize it is disheartening to see a table top or bed (often his side), that was once clear, to be made to look a bit like a garbage dump. I only do it when I'm desperate. And this time, I promptly threw away the garbage, put away the random objects and then vacuumed the tablecloth.

So what does she keep in her purse? I found many hair clips (or "hair pretties", as we call them), nail clippers, knitting needles, plastic jewelery (not mine), a church program, empty tic-tac containers, hershey kiss wrappers, pencil sharpener, loose change, doctor/physical therapy/massage therapy/hair salon appointment cards, fabric swatches (that came out of their designated envelope: must remedy this!), coupon file, hand lotion, phone, wallet, migraine drugs, grocery store receipts and a book. The ickiest: crumbs. Eww. I hate reaching into my purse and feeling crumbs. But that has been my life for the past five or more years. You'd think I would learn not to put empty bags (except the crumbs) of cereal or crackers in my purse; that I would learn that this brings on an eventual gross factor: but it's always in haste, and is frequently done.

So what made the cut?

My wallet, obviously.
My phone. I sometimes need this. But really, as much as I talk, I am not a phone person.
Lip gloss and chapped lip ointment. Must take care of lips!
Migraine spray and a medicine case with one anti-nausea pill and three aspirin for when the spray isn't enough. Necessary. Very necessary.
My coupon file.
My checkbook: I just started carrying this again. Lately I've been needing it for various trips.
Chocolate kiss. No explanation needed, right?
A book. Right now I've been occasionally opening up Eats, Shoots & Leaves when forced to wait for life to happen. I'm not exactly sure why people complain so much about waiting for the doctor: I use this time to read. My other books stay home.
A pen. "Do you have a pen?" This happens a lot. I will always welcome more than one pen in my purse.

I think I'm going to shop for a bright colored purse, something that whispers, or maybe even screams, "Sunshine!"

What is in your purse? Take a look, something random? It is as scary as mine?