The scales, they are a-changin'!

Oh, what is that you say?

You see a change a-here and a-comin'?

Something different about me?

A new vibrancy?

You can't quite put your finger on it?

Well, actually you can. On my arm only though--the other fluffy areas, well, it just wouldn't be appropriate...but go ahead, lean on my ample arm. It isn't going to be ample much longer. Well, a little ample. I do believe a bit of fat on a woman is a very good thing.

Yup. After months of exercising and thinking about what I am eating, it is finally happening. I now weight six pounds less than I did a month ago. Yes, I would love to see it drop quicker, but I prefer 1-2 pounds a week, and no more.

What is the lifestyle change, you ask?

Not much, really.

Perhaps my two month hiatus from the migraine machine. Not a total break, now there is a bad week in every month...but it isn't several days a week all month now! I think my body isn't in a panic anymore.

And it's now been about seven months since I've been off the seizure drug, birth control pill, and SSRI that I was on for my migraines. I realize that many would say, "the effects stop after you stop the drug" and I say, "whatever!" I have some personal (anecdotal, mind you) proof to suggest that, at least for my specific body, it takes me about seven months to start dropping the weight that was put on (or already on but I couldn't shed) from those drugs.

So all drugs, I find, affect my weight. If the weight causes you to gain weight, I gain it. If it causes you to lose weight, I gain it. If it isn't suppose to change your weight, I gain it. Soon after Geoff and I were married, I had anxiety problems and was put on an SSRI. Five months and forty pounds later...and wow, where did that come from?!

Seven months before we conceived Madeline I stopped taking an SSRI for anxiety problems. You may notice that I have no problem admitting that I have hormonal imbalance from time to time. There isn't shame. Our society is a bit quiet about it, really; but truly there is no shame. Unfortunately it's the unmedicated that give the imbalance a bum rap.

So back to my story: I had been exercising and watching portions and eating more veggies and drinking more water, blah, blah, blah...went through all of that. But it wasn't until seven months later that I saw a ten pound drop--and it happened in one month! Unfortunately (and fortunately) we conceived Maddie that month and so the weight loss halted for a time.

So now, it is very interesting to me that the same seven months as last time, and my body is finally doing what I want it to do in getting leaner.

Man oh man! I just don't know what I'll do if I get anxiety again in my life. Seeing this cycle of weight (and I know that a big part is my self-indulgent behavior and love for food) makes me never want to be on an SSRI again, or any drug for that matter. (Right now my neurologist has me on an herb and a high dose of Vit B-2 for my migraines. I didn't believe they would work for me since they weren't coming from a pharmacy...but a month after the Butterbur and my migraines were controlled. And no weight gain from them...so...)

So the question is brought forth: in the future: fat and happy or thin and crazy? Do I have to choose? In all reality, fat and exercising regularly and emotionally balanced is better than thin, not needing to exercise because of the constant panic (a lot of calories burned there!) and not taking care of my family. It just doesn't look as good in jeans. Yes, I'm very vain. But also, and quite justifiably, concerned about Type II diabetes.

But, oh yes....i'm in a good place right now. No crazies and no weight retention!! So I don't have to answer that question just yet...