from scratch

Shall I start with, "Oh my, it has been a long time!" or "Man, I am a slacker!"? Or maybe neither and I will just jump to the point.

No. A little explanation (I can't help myself): I haven't wanted to blog.

I hardly even care to read blogs lately. From this apathy I came to a revelation: blogs, for me, are an escape. Like a really great novel that I can't put down. I need escapes when I am busy or stressed; I haven't been busy or stressed. Just moseying through the mundane, barefoot and pregnant. Ironically when I have no time to blog or read blogs, that is when I make the time, out of necessity for my sanity, to write about my random thoughts. It clears my head.

I am a little busy; it's just not obvious. I'm growing a baby. I read somewhere (don't you love vague references? they make for the best statistics and self-excusing and/or promoting ideas) that an expectant woman's body, at rest, is working harder than her hard-working body when not expecting. I believe it.

Lately though, just the past few days (mind you, I'm on a high dose of prednisone to treat a refractory migraine, so it gives me a little extra energy), I've been wanting to create culinary delights. It seems to always hit when Geoff is going strong on his South Beach diet, but I want to bake pastries, cook up custards and ice creams, roll out some bread dough. Perhaps my desire to create foods comes with my increased appetite.

I want to go to the kitchen and make something beautiful and tasty from scratch, the same way I am growing this incredible human being in my belly, from scratch.

Isn't it wondrous that a woman's body can help create and then support and then deliver a human being? I know it is a natural part of life, every creature does it; but it is still so incredible to me to take part; a privilege. There are a few big things (low blood pressure, brain fog, not sleeping on my belly) that I do not like about pregnancy; but nine months of sacrifice is worth it to bring a baby to the world. And I've been waiting a while for this baby.

And a baby boy--I still can't wrap my mind around that. Perhaps after my twenty-week ultrasound (I'm eighteen weeks now) and a new color on the walls of what will become the nursery, will put me in the boy frame-of-mind.

And as for the foods from scratch...those I can wrap my mind and taste buds and enlarged belly (it is popping out now) around. A few days ago it was banana bread. Yesterday it was the most incredible beef and vegetable stew.

Today it is chocolate ice cream. I let the girls help me (which shows a saintly amount of patience--I am either becoming a better mother or my fatigue leaves me no energy to care). I taught the girls about tempering the egg yolk mixture into the cream mixture. Then this afternoon Madeline helped me keep the ice and salt around the churning cream while it turned from cold liquid to cold solid ice cream.

Under the ice cream we will have bananas and on top some freshly made up whipped cream (which I will make as soon as I post this) and some cherries. Mmmm. I love food. And I love it even more when it is something I made from scratch.